Season 3

E1. Death of a Propane Salesman

Sep 15, 1998 · 22m

Hank and Luanne survive the Mega Lo Mart explosion, but Buckley is no more. Hank finds that he is scared of propane, and tries to figure out how to deal with his fear of dying. Meanwhile, Luanne, who lost all her hair in the explosion, decides to become an activist like Sinead O'Connor.

E2. And They Call It Bobby Love

Sep 22, 1998 · 22m

Bobby starts dating Marie, a girl who's two years older than him. Bobby takes the relationship more seriously than Marie does, and is heartbroken when she dances with other guys. Marie decides to "move on" leaving Bobby an emotional wreck. Meanwhile, Hank and the guys find an abandoned couch in the alley, and grow to depend on it.

E3. Peggy's Headache

Oct 6, 1998 · 22m

When Peggy starts writing "musings" for the local newspaper, the pressure gives her a headache, so she goes to John Redcorn for a therapeutic massage. When she finds out that Dale's wife Nancy is having an affair with John Redcorn, she is so horrified that she decides to tell Dale about it.

E4. Pregnant Paws

Oct 13, 1998 · 22m

Hank wants to breed Ladybird, but the veterinarian says that she has a narrow uterus and probably can't have children. Hank becomes obsessed with finding a way to get Ladybird pregnant, which annoys Peggy, because she's the one who really wants another baby. Meanwhile, Dale becomes a bounty hunter and is assigned to hunt down a man with several unpaid parking tickets. He decides that he needs a hound to accompany him on his first bounty, so he nabs Ladybird, to Hank's horror.

E5. Next of Shin

Nov 3, 1998 · 22m

Hank tries several different methods to improve his sperm count so he can get Peggy pregnant. The frustration of not being able to have another child becomes worse when Cotton shows up and announces that he got his wife pregnant. But Cotton becomes so nervous at the prospect of having a baby at his age that he flees to Las Vegas, and Hank, Bill and Dale go after him.

E6. Peggy's Pageant Fever

Nov 10, 1998 · 22m

A beauty pageant offers Peggy the chance to win a truck. If she can endure a series of rigorous makeovers to impress the judges.

E7. Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men

Nov 17, 1998 · 22m

Hank is outraged when he attends a lawn mower focus group and discovers that the new model of his favorite mower has been turned into an upgraded "yuppified" version.

E8. Good Hill Hunting

Dec 1, 1998 · 22m

All the kids in the neighborhood are going on their first hunt, but Hank is unable to get a hunting license for him and Bobby. Bobby is so upset about being denied the chance at a rite of passage that he starts to regress into acting like a little kid. Hank reluctantly decides to take Bobby hunting at the La Grunta Resort.

E9. Pretty, Pretty Dresses

Dec 15, 1998 · 22m

At Christmastime, Bill becomes even more depressed than usual, because it's the anniversary of when his wife Lenore left him. Bill tries to commit suicide, and when that doesn't work out, he dresses up in Lenore's old clothes and declares that he is Lenore.

E10. A Firefighting We Will Go

Jan 12, 1999 · 22m

Hank and his friends become volunteer firefighters. They manage to wreck a fire hydrant, ruin a funeral, and finally burn down the Arlen firehouse. When the Fire Captain comes to ask what happened, the trio turns the story around to match each of their scenarios.

E11. To Spank, with Love

Jan 19, 1999 · 22m

After being taunted and pantsed by one of her students, Peggy loses it and spanks him. She is immediately fired, but Cotton and his old buddies start a campaign to get "Paddlin' Peggy" reinstated. Once she is back teaching, Peggy uses her reputation for violence to scare her students, and takes things too far, in true Peggy fashion.

E12. Three Coaches and a Bobby

Jan 26, 1999 · 22m

Hank gets his tough old football coach to lead Bobby's football team. When the coach proves to be a tyrant, Bobby decides to quit football and join the soccer team, much to Hank's disappointment. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to fit in with the other soccer moms, and takes a crash course from Minh on Soccer-mom etiquette.

E13. De-Kahnstructing Henry

Feb 2, 1999 · 22m

Kahn gets a great new job and invites Hank over to the office, hoping to make him jealous. While bragging about his job, Kahn gives away government secrets, swearing Hank to secrecy. Hank talks to Bill about Kahn's job, and Kahn gets fired for it.

E14. The Wedding of Bobby Hill

Feb 9, 1999 · 22m

Angry that Luanne cost him his job house-sitting Boomhauer's house, Bobby replaces her birth control pills with candy.

E15. Sleight of Hank

Feb 16, 1999 · 22m

Hank and Peggy go to a magic show where Peggy gets to be the volunteer in the best trick. Hank tries to figure out how the trick was done, and Peggy won't tell him. Meanwhile, Bobby is looking for a way to liven up his Sunday School report on Jesus, and when he sees the magician, he incorporates some of the tricks and patter into the report, calling it "The Amazing Jesus."

E16. Jon Vitti Presents: "Return to La Grunta"

Feb 23, 1999 · 22m

Hank gets Luanne a job as a golf course drink girl at the La Grunta resort. In gratitude, Luanne gets Hank a chance to swim with a dolphin. Hank pets the dolphin, and the dolphin becomes aroused and tries to become sexually intimate with him. In return for his silence, the hotel pays him off, and Hank tells Luanne never to talk about what happened. Luanne gets sexually harassed by one of the golfers, she decides to follow Hank's example and not talk about it.

E17. Escape from Party Island

Mar 16, 1999 · 22m

Hank takes his mother and her friends to a museum of miniatures in Port Aransas, and they get stuck in the middle of MTV's Spring Break. Meanwhile, Bill tries to put the moves on Peggy while Hank is away.

E18. Love Hurts... and So Does Art

Mar 23, 1999 · 22m

Worried at the prospect of going to a school dance with Connie, Bobby starts overeating at the local deli, and develops gout. Meanwhile, Hank goes to an art gallery in Dallas and finds that they are displaying an X-ray of his constipated colon.

E19. Hank's Cowboy Movie

Apr 6, 1999 · 22m

After Hank and Bobby visit the Dallas Cowboys training camp in Wichita Falls, Hank decides to make a video that will convince the team to move their camp to Arlen.

E20. Dog Dale Afternoon

Apr 13, 1999 · 22m

When Dale brings home a new 'Super Mower' the neighbors are jealous, but his attitude leaves everyone with a bad taste in their mouths. To knock him down a few notches, the crew decides to hide his new mower, & make it look like a conspiracy, Peggy gets involved and it goes too far. Dale gets pushed over the edge & it is Hank that goes to help him back down.

E21. Revenge of the Lutefisk

Apr 20, 1999 · 22m

Arlen's new minister is a woman, which everyone except Cotton seems to accept. When Bobby eats all of a Midwestern fish dish prepared by the minister, it somehow leads to him accidentally burning down the church. Everyone assumes that Cotton did it, and he is arrested for a hate crime.

E22. Death and Texas

Apr 27, 1999 · 22m

Peggy gets a letter from a Death Row convict who says that he is a former student of hers, and that she had the most positive impact on his life. She starts visiting him in prison and bringing him what she thinks is timer sand for Boggle -- not realizing that it's actually cocaine. Meanwhile, Dale wants to become an executioner.

E23. Wings of the Dope

May 4, 1999 · 22m

While studying for her beauty school exam, Luanne sees someone bouncing on Buckley's old trampoline. It's Buckley, who has come back as an angel. Hank and Peggy think Luanne was hallucinating after using too many hair-dying chemicals, but Hank's friends come to believe in the existence of Buckley's Angel. But Luanne finds that Buckley isn't much more help to her as an angel than he was when he was alive.

E24. Take Me Out of the Ball Game

May 11, 1999 · 22m

When Thaterton stacks his Company softball team with Pro sports stars, Hank pulls Peggy off of her own Softball team to become the Ace pitcher for Strickland Propane. Unfortunately, Hank's over-managing causes her to lose her stuff, and cause her to lose the love for the sport.

E25. As Old as the Hills...

May 18, 1999 · 22m

Peggy and Hank's 20th-anniversary party leaves the missus missing their youth; and a bottle of tequila is the highlight of their private revelry.