Season 5

E1. Age Concerns

Oct 22, 2003 · 30m

Brian and Sophie learn about age concerns which leads them to either wanting to move in a retirement home or get wrinkles! Meanwhile, Josh's voice breaks and uses it to pretend he's Brian phoning school to say that Josh is ill.

E2. Big Mother

Oct 27, 2003 · 30m

Lucy is the captain of the school chess team and Brian starts to feel proud of her achievements. In an attempt to feel proud, Sophie imprisons Josh in his room, now a cell with a Telescreen, where he is forced to study and exercise, as in Nineteen Eighty-Four. Josh fails in his studies, but instead creating a clever means of escaping punishment from Sophie and her electronic torture device. Though Sophie learns the truth, she find pride in Josh's elaborate lies. Meanwhile, Brian takes Wendy's place to ensure that the school win their chess competition, learning, however, that pride is not found through cheating.

E3. Burglars Can't Be Choosers

Oct 29, 2003 · 30m

After Brian accidentally leaves the front door open, Brian and Sophie come home to find all their furniture stolen. Brian responds by morphing into 'The Cat' to steal furniture from other homes, and this becomes his latest hobby. Josh discovers Brian's secret and (predictably) uses it to his own advantage. Meanwhile, Sophie becomes obsessed with home security, putting traps everywhere (which are mostly triggered by the Josh rather than burglars) and fears about the burglar worry Lucy so much that she begins to wet the bed.

E4. King Brian

Nov 3, 2003 · 30m

Brian decides to give the attic, now filled with a bed, cinema screen, drinks cooler, &c., to the member of the family who loves him the most, but Lucy walks away from the contest, saying she loves Brian as a father, "no more, no less". Josh and Mel then compete in vain to win Brian's affections. Meanwhile, Sophie tries to boost her self-esteem. Based on Shakespeare's King Lear.

E5. Warts and All

Nov 5, 2003 · 30m

Lucy is horrified to find a wart growing on her face. But not as horrified as Brian, who has discovered the real purpose of the bath; he develops a taste for shower gel and is obsessed with hygiene-until he starts shrinking!

E6. Educating Sophie

Nov 10, 2003 · 30m

Sophie decides to accompany Lucy to advanced mathematics classes after school, but it soon becomes clear that Sophie has fallen in love with Mr. Whiteside, the teacher. Brian feels that he is losing Sophie (and her ability to cook disgusting meals which deeply satisfy Brian) to Mr. Whiteside, so he sneaks into school and kidnaps Mr. Whiteside, and then morphs into Mr. Whiteside himself, to try to pretend to Sophie that Mr. Whiteside is "evil". Unfortunately his plan is ruined when Sophie invites Brian and Mr. Whiteside to have a meal together with her.

E7. April Fools

Nov 12, 2003 · 30m

Brian dreads the arrival of April Fool's Day, convinced Josh is bound to play a practical joke on him – but Sophie welcomes it, eager for the opportunity to have a little harmless fun at Lucy's expense.

E8. Wheels of Misfortune: Part 1

Nov 17, 2003 · 30m

Brian is out buying a bicycle, but ends up in a wheelchair. Not that he had been beaten up, but he loved the wheelchair and rejected the bicycle. Lucy overhears Wendy's Mum saying to Mrs. Hardman that Wendy only has four weeks to live. Meanwhile, Brian protests at the diner for disabled access and Mel is recovering from a mud mask that went horribly wrong and having to be guided round school by a guy called 'Francis'...which is actually Frankie!

E9. Wheels of Misfortune: Part 2

Nov 19, 2003 · 30m

Brian is still protesting for disabled access at the diner. But soon everyone notices that he is just lazy, until he actually has a wheelchair accident. Meanwhile Sophie changes places with the school rabbit so that Josh can get the reward money off Poppy Manning and Mel discovers that Francis is actually Frankie.

E10. Mel Barker Superstar

Nov 24, 2003 · 30m

Mel heads for stardom as the presenter on the lunchtime programme on the school radio putting Trent's show out of the lime light. And because of Mel's success, Brian and Sophie learn what it is like to be fans and focus all their attention on... Mel. In the end, she is fired because of the resulting scandal with commentary at a sports game.

E11. Pygmalien

Nov 26, 2003 · 30m

Josh introduces Brian to a weekend of slobbing and Mel teaches Brian about manners. Josh bets with Mel that he can turn Brian into a gentleman and he does it, but Brian turns into an old grump. Also he invites Trent (whom Brian calls 'Trentington') round for dinner with disastrous results. So now, they've got to make Brian back to normal.

E12. Smotherly Love

Dec 1, 2003 · 30m

Brian becomes obsessed with death and tries to secure immortality for himself and the children – but things don't go according to plan.

E13. Nappy Rash

Dec 3, 2003 · 30m

Sophie helps herself to a baby in the supermarket. Shocked the kids insist it must be taken back, which leaves Sophie feeling broody. Brian obliges her by morphing into a baby with...disastrous results and resorts to Sophie looking after another baby from the children's home. Meanwhile, Josh is desperate for a new games console and Lucy wants to buy some new clothes for seeing Bill Gates.